Are You Running on Empty? You Could Be Stuck in Survival Mode. Here’s How to Know…

If you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and ‘just getting on with it’ – you could be stuck in survival mode. This is a feeling I know all too well – everything feels like a constant to-do list, but at the end of the day I feel like I’ve achieved nothing. It doesn’t matter how much or little you feel you’ve got done, you never feel safe enough to truly rest at the end of the day.

Survival mode isn’t just having a stressful day. It’s a deep nervous system response that keeps you in a cycle of hypervigilance, depletion and frustration. You could even have been in it for so long that you don’t even realise that there is another way to live, but there is!

Signs You’re Stuck in Survival Mode

You’re always tired, but you’re unable to rest
Your body feels extremely fatigued, but when you finally get a moment for relaxation, you either feel restless, numb or anxious. You could sleep all the hours you want, but you don’t feel refreshed when you wake up. Instead, you feel just as drained as when you went to sleep. You could even have other symptoms as well as or instead of fatigue.

You feel stuck in “Fight-or-Flight” (or Freeze, or Fawn)

Because the nervous system is designed for survival, you feel like you’re constantly on edge – unable to control your reactions and take it out on others, overthinking every decision, or even shutting down completely. You could even be alternating between feeling wired and restless, or detached and numb.

The littlest of things feel like too much

Simple tasks can feel overwhelming, such as responding to a message, deciding what to watch or even what you want for dinner. You could struggle to focus, forget things easily, or feel like you’re always behind.

You put yourself last

You’re always striving to get ‘everything done’ before you rest, but everything is never completed. Health, joy, and any personal goals are pushed to the side. You may even focus on putting others before yourself and then resenting them.

You can’t feel joy, or live in the present moment

Moments that should feel good, such as playing with your child, or enjoying a quiet morning don’t feel as good as you want them to. Disconnection from yourself and others is common when the body is stuck in “Fight-or-Flight”.

How Can You Start Shifting Out of Survival Mode?

Being aware that you’re stuck (without blame)

You’re not lazy or broken. Your body had learned to stay in high alert because, at some point, it had to in order to keep you safe. The first step is being able to notice the patterns being used in keeping you stuck without judgement.

Make small, safe adjustments

Sudden changes don’t feel safe to the nervous system, so the trick is to start small and build up when you feel safe enough to do so. You could take a deep breath before a meal or lie down for five minutes without distractions. One of the first things I would do is to sit down with my morning coffee, without anything to distract me (unless my daughter was awake). Let your body know that it is okay to slow down.

Prioritise rest

I don’t just mean sleep (though 7-9 hours of quality sleep really does help). True restoration. Step outside for some fresh air, appreciating the beauty that surrounds you, or move your body in ways that feel good to you. You could even just sit and do nothing, without guilt! Whatever brings about gentle peace.

Listen to your needs (and don’t ignore them)

Do you feel like you need rest, nourishment or comfort? Then honour this! We live in a fast-paced world where we are praised on how much we do, so it is easy to ignore what we feel like we need. Oftentimes, people can be so busy, they skip lunch, but hunger is a way the body communicates that it needs refuelling. Even if it isn’t possible to drop everything (I totally get this with a toddler), then having small nuggets or self-care throughout the day can really help – I recommend trying to focus on how your breath feels moving in and out of your nose to calm the nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.

Shift from “getting through the day” to “feeling safe in it”

Ask yourself: How can I make myself feel 1% safer? Maybe drinking a warm cup of tea, setting a small boundary, or moving slower instead of rushing. Pausing and asking: How safe do I feel right now, in this moment?

Your Worthy of Thriving Instead of Just Surviving

I get it – I’ve been there (I still have moments where I struggle), and when you’ve been in survival for such a long time (maybe forever), the idea of slowing down can feel impossible and unsafe, but healing doesn’t happen in one big leap. It happens in the small moments where you choose yourself, even when it feels unfamiliar and scary.

If this resonated with you, know that you’re not alone. You can break free from this cycle, and you deserve to.

What’s one small way you can show your nervous system safety today? Let me know in the comments.